January 16, 2021

by a NASCAR fanatic - not affiliated with NASCAR

ANNOUNCER: This is race number one in round two of the playoff. You win it, you’ve made the elite eight.

JEREMY BULLINS: All right, man. Solid first round got to this point. Now it’s time to prove that we’re one of the best eight in the garage. Have fun with this thing, and get up there where we belong.

CLAYTON HUGHES: Let’s do it the Truex way. Go win this thing. Fight hard all day. Have fun.

BRAD KESELOWSKI: Fords, have a great day. Get the second round started with a nice, solid finish. Get some stage points.

GREG IVES: Hey guys, high heat index today. Make sure you guys are staying hydrated, staying fresh.

ANNOUNCER: Green flag is waving. Pole center Denny Hamlin gets a good start.

TONY RAINES: 20’s a little trouble there.

DEREK KNEELAND: 20’s spinning tires.

MARTIN TRUEX JR: It’s lacking just a little bit of front grip through the center.

RYAN NEWMAN: Just stuck in traffic. Got screwed there at the start. Then Austin wanted to race for nothing.

JIMMIE JOHNSON: I’ve got to go more than two. It is really lose.

ERIK JONES: Can’t touch the throttle in three and four, it’s so rough. I’ll spin out. It’s like shaking my eyeballs out.

DAVID HOOTS: Put it out, put it out. This is for the competition yellow.

DEREK KNEELAND: Fans off, all four below the orange box.

TONY HIRSCHMAN: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Right here.

CHAD JOHNSTON: 5, 4, 3. Where you going, bud?

DEREK KNEELAND: You missed it.

KYLE LARSON: That’s all my fault. Sorry.

CLAYTON HUGHES: Ready, ready. Green, green, green, green.

ANNOUNCER: Trouble on the backstretch– one car’s around. It’s Ryan Newman.

TAB BOYD: Spin. Check up, check up, check up.


BRETT GRIFFIN: Right side, guys.

CLINT BOWYER: [BLEEP] both sides.

RYAN NEWMAN: We’re done. [BLEEP]

JASON JARRETT: You got fire on the right front.

EDDIE D’HONDT: Green. All clear, 11 with you.

DANICA PATRICK: What the [BLEEP] did you do to me? I’m all over the place! I mean, this thing’s a piece of [BLEEP]!

CHAD KNAUS: Stay ahead of these guys.

JIMMIE JOHNSON: I’m trying. I’m so out of control loose.

TIM FEDEWA: Green-checkered.

ANNOUNCER: Kevin Harvick is going to comfortably win stage 1.

JIMMIE JOHNSON: I know. I know, I know. Let’s just move the [BEEP] on. I just need a little better tire pressure and I’ll do better.

CHAD KNAUS: Calm down, pal. I’m trying to help.

JIMMIE JOHNSON: It’s not calm in the slightest bit in the car right now, so I’m trying.

ANNOUNCER: Kyle Busch loses the car!

CHRIS LAMBERT: Caution, caution. KB just got in the fence.

KYLE BUSCH: Toe’s knocked the [BLEEP] out of it. It’s killed.

TONY HIRSCHMAN: Yeah, right rear needs a lot of work.

KYLE BUSCH: Toe’s off one click, steering wheel to the left, same as practice.

ADAM STEVENS: We’ll make minimum speed, and they we’ll come back and get tires when we can.

KYLE BUSCH: Loose as hell. All the tape on the deck lid is packing all that [BLEEP] up. It’s taking air off.

ADAM STEVENS: You focus on driving that damn thing, you hear me? We’ll focus on fixing it. We’re going to run all these laps.

KYLE BUSCH: I’m just trying to help you so we can go forward, OK? Forward! You want to keep going backward? I’ll make sure of that!

DANICA PATRICK: What’s his [BLEEP] problem?

CHAD KNAUS: Nine more. Go get those sons [BLEEP].

MARTIN TRUEX JR: We’re so much damn faster than them.

ADAM STEVENS: We’re still a couple of seconds quicker than minimum speed, so no need to push any harder.

KYLE BUSCH: I need a bag of ice so I can stuff it down my jacket. I picked up about 100 degrees in here. I might get sick.

CREW CHIEF: Green-checkered here. Good job.

ANNOUNCER: Green-and-white-checkered flag for Kevin Harvick. Chase Elliot next in line.

RICK CARELLI: Two in front of you, racing like heck in front of you.

ERIK JONES: I thought that you guys all race like gentleman.

RICK CARELLI: Nope, I don’t think so.

ERIK JONES: My [BLEEP] burned up so bad right now. You know, I probably had to use it up to get through some of these guys bad.

BRANDON BENESCH: 38 on the top up there. Stay way low, way low, way low.

ROCKY RYAN: Lock it down right there.

EARL BARBAN: Slow down, slow down.

JIMMIE JOHNSON: I can’t slow down in the turn like that. Wow, we got lucky.

CHAD KNAUS: No, we didn’t. That was pure talent.

DANICA PATRICK: I [BLEEP] clocked him with the right front.

KYLE BUSCH: I’m going to need some medical attention afterwards. I’m going to need air and ice, cold water.

CHAD KNAUS: Turning in, turning in. Ready. Stop! Stop! Dammit! Shake it off, folks. You’re going to have another opportunity here. Shake it off.

KURT BUSCH: Tightest we’ve been all day. Wow. [BLEEP].

RICKY STENHOUSE JR: I don’t need any more lap times. I’m just trying to keep this piece of [BLEEP] out of the fence.

MATT KENSETH: If I have us a favor, do I get suspended for it? As Phil Turner would say, for all the dumb people listening, that was a joke.

EARL BARBAN: Good job, deep breath. Get that 21. Come on.

JIMMIE JOHNSON: I mean, really?

KEVIN HAMLIN: I think we got debris in three. No yellow yet.

KYLE LARSON: Debris in three and four up high. If NASCAR can’t see that, they’re blind.

TJ MAJORS: 18’s got debris on the track. The 18 car, no caution yet.

COLE PEARN: He burned his [BLEEP] up. He’s tight and loose.

CLAYTON HUGHES: Watch that smoke up there. It’s the 18 on the apron. All good. [BLEEP] Caution’s out! Debris in three.

ANNOUNCER: An easy win for Martin Truex Jr. has now turned into a battle of pit road.

CHAD KNAUS: All right, we’ve got a shot, boys. We’re back in the game, Jimmie.

CHAD JOHNSTON: Time for a little redemption, guys. Five, four, three, two, one.

– Go, go, go, go, go!

ANNOUNCER: Watching the dash off the pit road, it is going to go to Martin Truex Jr.

ANNOUNCER: 4, not a good stop.

ANNOUNCER: Denny Hamlin’s crew did a great job. He’s going to line up in the second position.

DENNY HAMLIN: Will you ask the 78 if he’ll let me have the bottom? I’ll give him the spot.

COLE PEARN: 11 says he’ll let you in if you take the top.

MARTIN TRUEX JR: Ah. I’m worried about the 42, you know?

COLE PEARN: Yeah, 10-4. Let’s keep the bottom. Too much on the line.

ANNOUNCER: The green flag is displayed! We’re back to racing at Charlotte.

ANNOUNCER: Only a caution flag could cost Martin Truex Jr. the race.

Kurt Busch is spinning off turn two!

TONY RAINES: Stay in it Stay in it.

CLAYTON HUGHES: Caution’s out. Had one to spin over in turn two. Martin.

TONY RAINES: Fenders in just a little bit. It’ll be OK.

CHAD JOHNSTON: It’s going to be a green-white-checkered.

ANNOUNCER: Truex, once again with a great restart.

ANNOUNCER: Denny Hamlin not able to keep front-row pace with Martin Truex Jr. That gives the second position to Chase Elliott.

CLAYTON HUGHES: White flag, white flag. Give me one more, baby. Nice and smooth, baby. Hit your marks down here. I hear you, my brother! Victory lane today! Nice job, Martin Truex Jr.!

COLE PEARN: Hell yeah!

CLAYTON HUGHES: I hear you, brother! You worked your ass off for that one. Congratulations!

KYLE BUSCH: Ask them for medical. Like, freezing here.

BILLY O’DEA: Hey, you got to get a medic to pit stall 43, however the [BLEEP] they can get there.

ANNOUNCER: Medical crews are now going to his aid.

CLAYTON HUGHES: That was an awesome day, boys.

MARTIN TRUEX JR: I didn’t think there was any way we could win this race at the start, man. You guys are the best.