April 16, 2021

by a NASCAR fanatic - not affiliated with NASCAR

Matt Kenseth had a bad day at Charlotte last Sunday leaving him last in the Chase standings at this point. While I never like to count anyone out of the Chase here are 4 reasons that Kenseth will not win the 2015 Sprint Cup.

#4. Phantom Oil Slick – Going into Turn 2 during qualifying at Kansas Matt hits what he believes to be oil and brushes the wall. He qualifies poorly which leads to the next unrealistic reason. Both Kyle Busch and Dale Jr. forcefully declare that they too encountered oil in Turn 2. NASCAR sends out numerous track inspectors but they report no oil found and stick their collective tongues out at the drivers. The inspectors fail to mention that they had been looking in Turn 4.

#3. Loose Lug Nuts – The 17 crew only gets two lug nuts tight during a GF pit stop at Kansas and the other three vibrate off right in front of the 20 car and punch three holes in the radiator, ending Matt’s day and his hope of advancing in the Chase. Danica reportedly is concerned about hearing Ricky’s nuts had vibrated off.

#2. Newman – The Rocket Man is concerned about Kenseth wrecking him at Talladega in response to the minor incident at Charlotte. As fate would have it, Kenseth is lined up behind Newman for the start of the race. Ryan accidentally puts his car in reverse and crunches the front of the 20, causing some serious aero issues for Matt for the rest of the race. Both drivers are called to the NASCAR hauler at the end of the race to discuss the incident. Matt can be heard yelling “If you were smaller, say Keselowski-sized, I’d grab you from behind, put you in a headlock and give you a stern warning!”  Newman was reportedly unfazed by this outburst.

#1. Kevin Harvick – After a night out with his new sponsor, Busch, Kevin comes up with a great prank to pull on Matt. He proceeds to Saran Wrap Matt’s motor coach with all the Saran Wrap he can find. Unfortunately for Kenseth, Kevin discovers that the Saran Wrap folks had brought in two semi loads full of the plastic wrap to give away to fans that weekend. The Saran Wrap is so thick that it takes three hours to cut through it and Kenseth misses the start of the race. He finishes 32 laps down. After the race the track cleanup crew discovers 1,432 empty Saran Wrap boxes in a dumpster behind the infield care center. Harvick claims he has no recollection of the previous evening.

Until next time!


The 2015 Chase

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