May 13, 2021

by a NASCAR fanatic - not affiliated with NASCAR

Jeff Gordon’s final NASCAR season has been less than what he and his team have hoped for, yet he still has a chance to win the Championship. Here are 4 reasons why the 4-time champ may not win the 2015 Sprint Cup.

#4. Confusion & A Bad Radio – Jeff’s radio goes out right as the pace lap begins. Jeff is so concerned about the “Big One” at Talladega and decides he’s going to “hang out back” until the last 50 laps of the race. During the first pit stop he’s given a new radio and discovers he’s five laps down. At Kansas.

#3. Stray Firework – During the pre-race festivities at Martinsville, a stray firework falls in to the cockpit of the 24 machine after which a fire erupts and burns the car to the ground. Jeff is forced to a backup and to the rear of the field. To add insult to injury, Jeff’s insurance company cancels his policy and refuses to pay claiming he didn’t have “catastrophic car fire due to stray fireworks” coverage. Austin Dillon tells Jeff, “Hey man, I told you those things were dangerous. That why I got me some Aflac after that Charlotte incident.”

#2.  Keselowski Shoots the Gap – At Texas Motor Speedway with 12 laps to go Jeff is leading with Jimmie Johnson in second when a caution comes out. On the ensuing restart, Jeff chooses the outside lane with Keselowski behind him. When a opening about the size of a Mini Cooper opens up between Gordon and Johnson, Brad screams “SHOOTING THE GAP!” and collides with Gordon going into Turn 1. This cuts down Gordon’s left rear tire causing him to spin and finish 29th. After the race Gordon gets some help getting a hold of Brad from Kevin Harvick and a big brawl ensues on pit road and…. come to think of it, this actually happened… moving on.

#1. Ill-conceived Victory Celebration – Jeff pulls off a big win at Phoenix to advance to the Championship round. After a monumental burnout, Jeff is so pumped that he decides to do one of those “way cool” Carl Edwards back flips. Before the crew can stop him, Jeff is halfway through his flip when he realizes this was a really, really bad idea. Two days and two surgeries later, Jeff is informed that he cannot drive with a broken left leg and a broken right arm. Jeff’s appeal to NASCAR to allow Chase Elliott to drive the 24 car and earn Jeff points in the Homestead race is denied. Apparently the fact that Chase is considered “The Next Jeff Gordon” does not mean he can actually earn points as Jeff Gordon. After the race is over it is announced that had Chase Elliott legally changed his name to Jeff Gordon NASCAR might have re-considered their decision.


The 2015 Chase

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